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Depressed for not looking hot enough to get multiple hook ups

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    Hi 21 M I have made a post before, but I just wanted to say I feel depressed for some reason for not looking hot enough to get the amount of matches for my area on tinder/bumble.

    My goal is to get more than 45 matches in the first day in my area which is equivalent to the cat fish accounts that I used which happened to be models with great pictures. I've gotten to 26 matches so far in a day but it's starting to make me depressed due to slow progression.

    My goals to achieve getting those kind of numbers are:
    -Get a better body 8-12% body fat range with good amount of muscle mass. I'm slowly accomplishing this but this will take approx. 6 more months.
    -Get my photos taken by someone who's good at taking photos and with a great camera.
    -Be better groomed for the photos.

    These are my goals to get to my main goal which is... to get so many matches that I always have options. I hate not having options and not being the one in power most of the time. By having multiple options I'll feel like I have more power and I will feel much more at ease when talking with girls. I feel more attractive than I was 3 months ago, but i'm hoping that by the end of all these goals I'll be in such good shape that my facial features will be uncovered and that I'll look much better than I do currently. I've seen celebrities such as Taylor Lautner and Chris patt who have both gotten out of shape and back into shape, and there facial structure gets covered by fat thus making them look more unattractive at that stage. Which I'm hoping my case I'll look much better at the 8-12% body fat range.

    But by not being hot enough already with the proper photos I'm just depressed. I don't feel good about myself at all. I know by getting hot I don't have to try as much in conversations due to being better looking. I know this from using cat fish accounts, people who are better looking can get by without being that clever in convos. I just have a good feeling I can achieve the same attraction given with my genetics but I just haven't hit my genetic potential because I'm not very fit.

    It just makes me depressed, I'm on tinder a lot of the time just wasting my time on it staring at the convos for some reason. I also just think in my mind when these girls are going to reply, and I'm just thinking my head well if they don't reply it must mean they have better options. I want to be that best option most of the time. By not being hot it makes me very depressed.

    Does anyone know how to combat these feelings? I've had sex 10-13 times but in my opinion weren't with the hottest of girls. I'm not sure why it makes me depressed but it just does. I don't want to get by with my personality so I'm going to do what I can to hit the ceiling to my genetic potential and see what that is.

    I'm not sure if I get depressed because I think of it as a game or I just really like sex that much but I just want the feelings to go away.

    I do not want to see a psychologist. I could possibly at my College but I don't want to be seen. Any advice on where I should look to fix this problem? Also I cannot afford one outside of college.


    EDIT: What gets me by from not being super depressed is just knowing that I can always become more attractive than I currently I am by having better hygiene and lower body fat. I'm quite far from the body fat percentage + muscle mass I want, so I'm happy that I've made decent progress so far in terms of my attractiveness but I'm still depressed about not being hot. At least not yet. My definition of hotness is someone who has great hygiene, white teeth, and a body with low body fat % with good/great muscle mass.
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    Anonymous3831 It's so easy to get stuck into the cycle of scrolling through the phone on a particular app and before you know it, so much time has passed. The thing is with celebrities, they literally devote months of full time, all day work in the gym to prepare for a role, it isn't their 'usual' body. And once filming is over, they relax and go back to whatever their normal is. It's just not attainable full time for most people and when they are doping it, they have little life outside of it.
    It would be good to start looking at what you like about yourself, praise yourself for your achievements too as it's easy to skip over this and just push yourself harder. Sometimes when people feel like this, there are other things underlying it which need to be addressed so you can actually start to feel better.
    What do you like about yourself?

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        Originally posted by Blondie View Post
        Anonymous3831 It's so easy to get stuck into the cycle of scrolling through the phone on a particular app and before you know it, so much time has passed. The thing is with celebrities, they literally devote months of full time, all day work in the gym to prepare for a role, it isn't their 'usual' body. And once filming is over, they relax and go back to whatever their normal is. It's just not attainable full time for most people and when they are doping it, they have little life outside of it.
        It would be good to start looking at what you like about yourself, praise yourself for your achievements too as it's easy to skip over this and just push yourself harder. Sometimes when people feel like this, there are other things underlying it which need to be addressed so you can actually start to feel better.
        What do you like about yourself?
        I thought about what I like about myself today, and I couldn't honestly really think of anything. I mean the only thing I guess I could say I like about myself is my drive to excel at whatever I want to excel. May this be trying to excel at a video game, a sport, or working hard at the gym.

        Besides that trait, I don't really like myself that much. I'm pretty antisocial, which annoys me. The reason why I'm antisocial is because I just don't like humans that much in general.

        I would say I don't have many qualities I like about myself besides the one. I don't have any feelings of liking myself at all actually.

        I'm not scared of not attaining a good enough physique to get more casual sex, it's just it's depressing my that I'm not already there. However the body needs time to change. I actually devote most of my time to learning about exercises/nutrition. I just like to. And because of it I look better than I did 3 months ago, and I'm somewhat happy about that, but it's not satisfying until I get similar results the models I used on tinder got for casual sex. I actually get the results I want when I switch my location to Brazil, for some reason Brazilian girls like me a lot more due to Blue eyes/more fair skin. I think it's a foreigner thing, but those aren't the same results as here in America so I don't really care too much about that.

        As for myself praising my own achievements I don't feel that much when I come close to my goal or when I succeed in a goal. In my own mind I expect myself to come close or to achieve what I want to achieve as long as it's realistic for me. I don't like to brag about achievements that may be why I am unsure.

        Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.

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            Yeah, we're not good sometimes about saying to, or thinking good stuff about ourselves. If 100 people commented about the avergare person, generally we dismiss or forget the 99 positive comments and would focus on one negative one... and that takes work to undo. Equally we try and raise young people to feel confident and good about themselves and sometimes when they vocalise that, society is quick to judge and bring you down a little.
            I think your drive to excel is an excellent quality and it sounds like you've made excellent progress - however, patience is not always so easy! Definitely take the time to see how far you've come as you're right, it doesn't happen overnight.

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                hey! the advice here has been awesome but don't forget your brain! physical goals are great but set yourself some mental goals too, like, learn a new language, study something new, learn stand up comedy or play an instrument!

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