I need help getting over some cyber bullying

[Lauren or Tom]

I was on discord the other day and these people I'm asexual/aromantic and I came across some of the most aphobic, nasty people. I have screenshots of the conversation that I had. I left the server before I thought about reporting the server/the guys who were bullying me. Would you even call this bullying?

The main guy who bullying me was the owner so I couldn't report anyone. He says I'll be grateful in 10 years, I don't even know what he meant by what he was saying. He was also saying how he reckons my parents are the ones to blame etc. All the common aphobic, hateful crap. Am I able to link photos onto here?

This all started because I asked about sleeping in a tent with a guy friend in a non-sexual way.

I did report this a few hours after I left but apparently what the guy said doesn't violate discord's policy.

Why are people like this? I can't allow my mind to drop it.

[Remi]

Hello Tom,

 

long time no speak, how have you been? Asides from this obviously.

 

Really sorry to hear about your experience on Discord, yes, this sounds like cyber bullying. You can report it to us here https://www.ditchthelabel.org/report/ - if the post doesn't violate the community guidelines, we may have some issues getting it removed, but we can certainly have a look for you. Can you block the users so you don't have to interact with them again? I'm so sorry there are people out there that are ignorant to other people's identity and way of life. I know it feels very personal, but remember these people don't know you or your story, so try not to pay too much attention to what they do/ or don't think of you.

 

Did you receive any positive advice, or responses to your original post about sleeping in a tent with a guy friend?

 

We also have this great article to have a read through about positive ways to overcome cyberbullying. The one that stands out for me here is 'never respond' when someone choses to deny your existence, thats the point when you stop engaging with them and protect yourself.

 

I hope you are okay, we're here for you!

[Lauren or Tom]

Hey Remi,

I'm doing well despite what happened, how are you? Mood swings happen every now and then. It's just nice to talk about it. I have no one to talk to and it's been nagging me the past few days. I feel a little bit better that someone knows now.

I guess the problem now is that I already struggle with trying to accept my sexuality and this has just made it worse. I've been bullied and my past bullying has always been nagging me, annoying me. I'd like to forget it but when I was getting bullied in the past, it was never been this bad.

[Remi]

Hey,

 

I'm doing okay thanks! Yeah I think talking really helps and sharing whats on your mind with someone else, can help you process what's going on.

 

What are some thoughts that come up for you about your sexuality? Remember that only you get to define who you are, it's not up to anyone else to do that. I have your report and I will be contacting discord. Try and keep as many screenshots as you can.

 

We know bullying isn't something that you just forget, it can leave lasting damage, so be gentle with yourself while you are trying to heal from it. Is the bullying just happening on Discord or elsewhere too?

 

I'm always here if you need to chat, even if you just brain dump everything that's inside your head right now, the good and the bad, it may make you feel a little bit lighter, what do you think?

 

Have you considered asking your parents if you could see a counsellor again?

 

Remi

[Lauren or Tom]

Hey Remi,

I saw the email, thanks for getting back to me so quickly about it.

The things that come up with my sexuality is that maybe I'm being lazy and maybe I do sexually like people. I think most of it is probably just anxiety talking.

I was bullied many years ago so this is the first time I've been bullied in a very long time. It only happened on discord.

I have felt less anxious about it. I had a good cry the other day and I feel lighter.

I would talk to my parents about this but they all that accepting about my sexuality. They bring it up sometimes and I just get anxious so I'd rather not talk with them. And bringing the bullying up with them is going to make it worse.

 

Do you mind calling me Lauren again? Idk whats happening with my gender at the moment so I'm going to stick with Lauren for now.

[Remi]

Hey Lauren,

 

Of course, whichever you prefer.

Our sexuality really is so fluid and personal that it's totally okay if it changes or evolves, or stays exactly the same, it's just not up to anyone else to judge or define it. And you certainly are not just 'being lazy' that's not how it works. We can't force ourselves to feel something, we just don't feel.

I'm glad a cry made you feel lighter, there is something so cathartic about it. Why do you think it will be hard to talk to your parents about bullying? You, of course don't have to tell them but it may make you feel better. You can't control what others say unfortunately, but we can report them and empower ourselves to know that it is never ever our fault, or caused by who we are!

 

For the anxiety, have you tried breathing techniques when you start to feel anxious. There are some amazing apps out there that you can download too - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-min...-to-your-life/ my faves are CALM or Headspace.

 

We're here for you!

 

Remi