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Coming out (It's a long story... sorry)


banii    

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So I am a 14 year old girl with very religious Sikh parents. I however am i bi atheist. I've lost all faith in religion and at this point my mom is forcing me into it. I am also bi. I a year ago told my mom, my friend who is a year older than me is bisexual. She started laughing and told her it was a phase. I brought it up again a few days ago. I also talked about another one of my friends being gay. She proceeded to tell me it's a phase and they're just looking for attention. I'm stressed because what if the person I fall in love with isn't Sikh and isn't a guy (I'm bisexual). I'm worried if I tell both of these things now i'll be kicked out at 16 and ill have to live at the covenant house and pay for university myself. Sometimes I feel like such a failure because I'm not that perfect religious, genius daughter they wanted.

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Hey Banii,

Welcome to Community and thank you so much for sharing this with us.

 

We think it’s awesome that you are bi-sexual. Coming out to parents can be daunting. There are certainly benefits and risks to it and when religion is involved it can add an extra layer trickiness to it. Your safety and comfort is the most important thing here, if there is a danger that you will get kicked out of home, I would wait until you know you can stay somewhere else or can move out. I understand that it’s is so frustrating, as you want the people in your life to know about an important part of you but waiting until it is safe to do so is really important.

 

How do you think your mum might react if you told her that is was actually you that was bisexual?

 

Are you out to anyone else? Coming out to a close friend or maybe a different relative can help as a step towards coming out to your Mum.

 

I know it’s stressful - but try not to worry too far ahead and take each day as it comes. No one is perfect, your parents included. You are... you and that is a wonderful thing!

 

-Remi

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Hey Banii,

Welcome to Community and thank you so much for sharing this with us.

 

We think it’s awesome that you are bi-sexual. Coming out to parents can be daunting. There are certainly benefits and risks to it and when religion is involved it can add an extra layer trickiness to it. Your safety and comfort is the most important thing here, if there is a danger that you will get kicked out of home, I would wait until you know you can stay somewhere else or can move out. I understand that it’s is so frustrating, as you want the people in your life to know about an important part of you but waiting until it is safe to do so is really important.

 

How do you think your mum might react if you told her that is was actually you that was bisexual?

 

Are you out to anyone else? Coming out to a close friend or maybe a different relative can help as a step towards coming out to your Mum.

 

I know it’s stressful - but try not to worry too far ahead and take each day as it comes. No one is perfect, your parents included. You are... you and that is a wonderful thing!

 

-Remi

Hey Remi thanks for your response. I think my mom may react like it's just a phase and will always say that. She talks about all of my lgbtq friends like that. I'm out to 3 people planning to come out to more in a few weeks when exams are over so i can at least try to have a a clear mind about school. I feeling coming out to friends are easier and my relatives are highly judgmental so that's not an option

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