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Doubts (ftm)

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    Ever since I started puberty I have felt like there was something different or wrong. I just couldn't understand how I was feeling so I pushed it aside. But now that my body has started developing I have found that it makes me extremely uncomfortable and has even lead to some depression. So I think that I am trans. And I even dream that I am a man a lot. But I was very girly when I was little so that makes me think that I might just be faking these feelings. And sometimes I think that my dysphoria isn't even bad enough to be trans. This feeling of being trans and the feeling of doubt (that I am not really trans) is tearing me apart on the inside and I don't know what to do.
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    Hello khonsu05

    Welcome to our online support community. I'm one of the digital support mentors at Ditch the Label and I'm here to give advice and support to those who reach out to us, so thank you for coming to us. I saw that you made a few different posts, but thought it would be best to reply to this one to keep it all in one place.

    I really appreciate the you have been so open and honest about your experiences with us. By asking for help, you're going to put yourself in a much better place. I am sorry to hear that you've been feeling extremely uncomfortable and have been experiencing some depression because of these feelings. It must be hard for you to keep all of this in, but we are here for you now. You are not alone.

    So, I'm wondering, how long have you been feeling this way for? Also, what do you think you might have to do next?

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        I have started feeling like this around 13 years old. I am 16 now. And honestly, I don't know what I am going to do next. I would like to start socially transitioning but I don't have parents that are really supportive/they wouldn't understand. So I will probably have to wait until I move out of the house.

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            Hey khonsu05


            Thanks for getting back to me. Yeah, it sounds like it would be good for you to start socially transitioning. I'm wondering, what makes you think that your parents wouldn't understand? To be honest, transitioning can be hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around, and it usually takes time and patience to get to a good stage with it, but the reaction might be strange at first. What do you think?

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                Well, I have noticed that my parents will get angry at stupid little things. Like me wearing men's deodorant or my little brother wearing nail polish. My dad especially is really closed-minded in what women should wear and present and how a man should present. He is one of those 'bring back manly men' types. And this is kinda embarrassing but I got yelled at pretty badly because I was wearing my little brother's underwear (clean ones of course) because women's underwear gives me dysphoria.

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