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Is something wrong with me?

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    Hello,
    I’m back after a long while. I’ve been meditating everyday and I’m doing good, feeling good even when things aren’t great. But I’ve been questioning myself over something lately and I can’t seem to find an answer.
    There’s a lot about drugs and all that going around here. I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink either. I’ve always felt odd, and like I never fit in any group of people. This predominantly exists in the industry I wish to work in. I’m worried that I’ll be left out again and not be given a good job if I’m so “conservative”. I definitely do not want to indulge in anything I think is against my morals. But the result of that is loneliness, and fear that I’ll always be left out. Is something wrong with me? I get very disturbed knowing that everybody is indulging in something bad and I wish they didn’t do so. I don’t know how to feel about this.. I’m worried something is wrong with me and I fear that I’m going to be left out because of this. Any guidance or support is appreciated!
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    Hey Anahita

    It's lovely to hear from you again. I'm glad that you've stuck with the meditation and that you're doing well. I remember Remi and I talking to you about meditation and how it can take a while to see the benefits. When you say there's a lot of drugs going around here, where do you mean? Is that at home?

    At some point, a lot of people feel like they don't fit into a particular group, however, everyone finds their tribe at some point, and you'll feel so good when you find that group or person that you just click with. Do you have any friends like this at the moment? Remember, some people just have one-on-one friends rather than being part of a group which is perfectly normal too. However, I understand how hard that feeling of loneliness is to work through though. It can make us do things out of our character e.g. try to be someone we are not, drink or do drugs, or be mean to others just to fit in, etc. It's so important to stay true to who you are because if you feel like you have to change yourself to fit into a group, you won't be happy this way. There is nothing wrong with you at all and your feelings are completely normal about this situation. What do you think?

    Speak soon,
    -Monsoon

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        Monsoon Hello there! I’m so glad you remember the conversation we had! When I say a lot of drugs around here, I mean to say in college and other places, but not at home. I do have a few friends, and I do have a circle, but the relationship I have with them feels more like a conditional thing. I’m not sure if they have an emotional connection with me, the way I have it with them. I almost always am the one that does things without expecting anything in return, and the very little they can do for me is to recognise it and be there when I need them. I don’t feel close enough to anyone, and I feel like that keeps me looking for emotional closeness somewhere. If I felt like I belonged somewhere, maybe tomorrow even if I find myself in a situation like this again, with me not being able to fit in, I’d at least be able to get through it with some support. I am working on making myself better, to handle things better and respond instead of reacting emotionally. I’m not sure what I should do now.

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            Hey there Anahita

            I'm sorry to hear that you're not sure they have an emotional connection with you. Can I ask, what makes you think they don't have the same connection towards you as you do them?

            It's completely normal to react emotionally, especially when something hits a nerve. There's a great book called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' which I read recently and I think it might help with some of the problems you're currently having. It's a short self-help pocket book which I think would be good for you.

            Do you think there are things you could do right now to help you feel emotionally closer to people?

            -Monsoon

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                What makes me think they don’t have the same connection as I do with them is that they only come to me when they need help with something. Whether it’s work, or just someone to vent out to, I’m always there. I check in on them, I try to make their lives better. But when I’m sick, or if I’m feeling low, they don’t bother. They’ve given me so little of their time, that when I need someone to talk to, I know I can’t go to them. I’ll give that book a read! Monsoon

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