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Rough Day at Work

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    So I just got out of work, and I work with kids but since it's all remote learning, our class time is on zoom. Today was rough, or well, this whole week was rough. See, since it's remote, the kids' parents are always next to them, and for us, it's like we are talking to both the kids and the parents. My coworker and I were reading these questions, and this boy's dad gets passive aggressive mad at us two, saying we don't wait and listen for his kid to answer. That we have to give him time or else he will get angry. When he said that, my partner and I said oh, ok, expressing that we understood. And we recognize that we definitely could have said more than that, like thank you for telling us, but in my head I was totally FREAKING out. Not only that, but they literally exited our zoom. Just more salt to the wound. I hate being unable to please people. My heart was racing, my smile disappeared from my face, and I felt like crying. Once I got off, I called my coworker and we talked about it and I think she felt the same too.
    We invited our work leader to the call and she said really reassuring things, and I really want to believe them, like "it's not your fault," "don't worry," but my mind won't agree.
    Ugh, I don't even know what to do. I don't want to quit work, because I'm finally in a good place financially, and also because I don't want to give up. How should my mindset be in approaching situations like this?
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    Hey knickerbocker716

    Thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear that his happened to you. I get why the parent was annoyed due to feeling like there wasn't enough time, but feel like there was a better way for them to handle it e.g., sending an email/having a private convo rather than saying it in front of everyone and then exiting the call. Also, many parents have unrealistic expectations of teachers too.

    I'm wondering, when you say your mind won't agree with people saying it's not your fault, what's going on in your mind when you hear that kind of thing?

    Also, I'm curious to know, if your friend came to you with the same problem, what would you tell them?

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        Thanks for the reply Monsoon . I think my mind won't agree because I blame myself a lot, or I just overthink everything. Like I doubt the words of others, maybe trust issues? It's also the reasoning that these people who say, "don't worry," "it's not your fault" weren't there when this thing happened, so how can they be right? And I feel bad because they are there to support me and I don't take their word.
        If a friend came to me with the same problem, I'd also tell them "don't worry" and "it's okay, things will be better." But since I wasn't there, I couldn't tell them that "it's not your fault" because I really don't know if they did or didn't hold some responsibility.
        Also as an update, my coworker and I sent a private message to them on zoom with an apology, and ways to improve communication. We did not receive a reply. I don't know if it was even read, but we continued our class time like normal and he seemed fine? We told this update to our colleagues who said things like, oh then things will be fine, if he is acting normal then he probably read it, but my doubts come in again, and I'm thinking like what if he didn't read it and will continue to have this one-sided, unresolved tension towards us..

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            Heyknickerbocker716

            Yeah, I think that a lot of people won't agree with others saying things to make them feel better/giving compliments. When you've got a negative idea in your mind, it can be so hard to let go of that and believe something more positive.

            It's interesting that you think it might be down to trust issues. Out of curiosity, what makes you think that?

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                Human ingratitude and the opinion that everyone is personally obliged to them is the norm of modern society. After all, there are not 2 students in the class, so that during the lesson each should be given half an hour of time. And every parent counts. that it is his child that needs to be given more time, and someone thinks that his child is being neglected. I think you need to try to take it easier, otherwise no nerves will be enough to experience all this discontent.

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