Back to Ditch The Label

Mental Health

My depression

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 20 total)

  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Author
Posts
  •  
    Hi guys! back again.

    So basically, when I discovered this website(which was exactly 4 months ago yay!) I had just found out I had depression and I've been working on how to improve myself but it really isn't easy. I've tried disconnecting from social media but that wasn't the problem because I missed my friends. So just about last week, I wrote down the things that made me happy and unhappy so I could do more of the happy ones and try to avoid or fix the ones that make me unhappy. Now my problem is I have been avoiding the unhappy ones but I can't focus on the ones that make me happy. Like I have hobbies and I know they'll make me feel better but I've just been drained.

    (TW// suicide) Also, I'm from Nigeria so we're dealing with a lot of things right now( you can search EndSars to educate yourself) and people I know(not personally) went for protests with their friends and some say that few of them died. It's really scary, and some have committed suicide. I'm trying to make sure my mental health doesn't become worse but it's hard with everyone dying.

    In conclusion, basically how do I focus on the things that make me happy? Do I have to try and persuade myself and encourage myself with a few motivational words or...?
    Thank you!
  •  
    Hey sweetie

    It's nice to hear back from you again - happy four month anniversary!

    You're right, it is hard working on ourselves, but you seem really determined to make things better for yourself, so that's reallyyyyy good. I think that it's hard to avoid the things that make us unhappy, and it's equally hard to avoid unhappy feelings. Rather than trying to avoid them, it can sometimes be helpful to just accept them for what they are rather than trying to change them.

    Out of curiosity, what are the things that make you happy and unhappy? Also, I'm wondering, could it be a good idea to stop reading/watching the news as much? This might help your mental health
    Last edited by Monsoon; 11-11-2020, 07:09 PM.

    Comment

    • Comment

      •  
        Sorry, I've been really busy with school and had a few tests but they were fine(because of the strange coping mechanism that I have and would like to discuss too).

        Anyways, I actually wrote these things down a few weeks ago because I was really in a horrible mood and I was fed up with not fully understanding why. Basically, they are things that calm me down or stress me a lot so it's not necessarily what makes me happy and unhappy. Also, I was able to identify why these certain activities had the effect they did on me.

        So, the things that make me 'happy' are drawing, sewing, listening to music(but it has to be while I'm doing something else), dancing(alone of course), having fun discussions with my family, interacting with my close friends, exercising, crying in the shower(whenever I have mental breakdowns), watching videos that make me feel better about myself or lightens my mood.
        And the things that make me 'unhappy' are the overload of school work, disappointing my parents, trying to express myself, sleeping or being awake for too long, being away from my friends(my biggest problem right now), too much social media(really not a problem right now).

        Now, when I wrote these down at first it was extremely hard to write the happy stuff because that's something I've never really thought of before. And also the 'unhappy' stuff may be less in number compared to the 'happy' but they do have a greater impact, that or I actually have things to brighten my mood but I'm just not able to do them.

        Thank you, for taking the time to read. I really appreciate the effort of trying to help me.

        Comment

        • Comment

          •  
            Hey sweetie

            No need to apologise - everyone is busy . I'm glad to hear that your tests were fine. It's completely normal to find it hard to write the happy stuff. When we are having a bad time, it can be really difficult to focus on what's actually good because our minds trick us into focusing on everything that isn't so good, so it's great that you were able to name the more positive things.

            Out of curiosity, what makes you think that you are not able to do the things to brighten your mood? Also, I noticed that you said you wanted to talk about the coping mechanism that you find strange which I'm happy to discuss with you.

            Speak soon and stay strong <3

            -Monsoon

            Comment

            • Comment

              •  
                I'm not too sure. There was a point in time, which was about like a month ago, I was really angry at my self for not being productive enough. I felt like I should at least put in a little effort because I was constantly unhappy(that was about the same time I wrote about what makes me happy and unhappy).

                After I did things like sewing and practised on improving my drawing a bit, I felt happy. I wanted to continue but I also didn't. I think it's because I was being lazy, lol, I'm still not sure at this point. Like right now, I wish I could do these things but I feel like if I do them I'm wasting my time? or maybe I'm afraid of how long it will take to like recover from depression.

                I'm just realising this as I'm writing, to be honest, just freely speaking my mind. But, maybe I'm scared for the journey or if after all this work, I still can't recover. Umm, there is one thing I know that makes me depressed and has been the cause of several of my mental breakdowns and that's my family. I just feel like with what I'm going through right now I've become very sensitive and in most African homes sensitivity is what is laughed at, things like your mental health don't matter. It's all about school and your education really. So sometimes when I express myself in front of my siblings and usually laughed at or not taken seriously. I mean it wasn't a problem before but now because of lockdowns and I recently changed schools(I don't go to a boarding school anymore) it's affecting me a lot.

                That's why I've been wanting to feel better because I'm away from my friends and closer to my family. I get tired of waking up and seeing the same house and people every day. Crazy enough I had to stop my brother from waking me up on Sunday's just because it made me angry every single time.

                And not to mention the other reasons my family makes me feel horrible which is a whole new story on there own.

                It feels really nice to be letting these out. Because I always wrote them down on my phone anytime I was having a mental breakdown so I could understand why I felt the things I did. They helped but it wasn't enough, it still didn't solve the problem.
                Thank you.

                Comment

                • Comment

                  Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 20 total)

                  Working...
                  X