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Messed up

I sent nude videos of myself to a stranger

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    Looking back I wish I just stopped sexting him, found him on a startup help site similar to this one only for it was meant to talk about sex. It started out just having a conversation with him then it escalated to sexting, I knew the app wasn't meant for that purpose but I liked what he was sexting back and it was so nice to finally have someone talk to me like that so I kept going. Later he kept asking me to send videos since he wanted to take it to the next level. He kept suggesting it, he even said to not record my face & to create a fake email. I kept saying lets not ruined the mystery. He didn't seem pushy about it. I texted my friend who I met in college and told her about him, she said go for it. As long as I didn't show my face it should be fine. Maybe I went to ask her because I somewhat knew inside my head she was going to tell me an answer I wanted to hear. I knew about the consequences of nude pics but I decided to ignore them since for the first time someone was talking dirty to me. I felt nervous and a little bit shaken up, an adrenaline that wouldn't stop when I was recording my chest. I sent it to him and he very much liked it so I sent him another one, he sent me a pic of his dick. Idk but all of a sudden I started to feel this huge heavy weight on my heart as if reality struck me hard. I started panicking, heart racing, the only thing my mind could think of were the consequences of what might happen if he posts those videos. I texted my very close friend from h.s. friend and told her everything, Idky I didn't txt her first, during our chat I felt that if I came to her first instead I probably wouldn't have sent the videos. I would have just simply ignore him on the chat. I couldn't stop thinking of the potential dangers & consequences I put myself in. Back when it happened it was all I can think about and a little bit to this today. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid about him, if he was just a guy who wanted fun or a guy who secretly posts or sell these videos. That's the worst part, not knowing if he deleted those videos like I have of his pictures. I've even tried to look for my videos to see if he posted them. So far I didn't find them. I don't want this to ruin my career once I get one, that out of nowhere this video appears and I get fired. I don't want to be judged by something like this that happened so long, this doesn't defy who I am in the workplace. Idk what to do now or how to forgive myself
    diamond_destiny I'm so sorry you're feeling this way as I get how overwhelming it can be.

    Firstly, is your face in the video or is there any way it would be obvious that it was you? If not, there is little chance that, even if posted, anyone would realise it was you. If it came to that (which it sounds like it would be unlikely) deny, deny, deny.

    You have nothing to be ashamed of, it's completely normal to explore our sexuality - I'm sharing this article that has some step by step tips:

    Forgiving ourself is important as we learn so much as we grown and change.


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      Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)