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Sri1525    

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I am new to this community. I have accidentally stumbled upon this website. So I thought of introducing myself a bit.

I am a strange specimen from a landmass called as India by the narrow-minded naive humans. I have been told since childhood that I am a Homo sapiens. However I can never understand these strange bipedal animals and their hypocritical philosophies. I want to be away from them. I really wish I were an alien.

I suffer from different comorbid psychological disorders. So it's very difficult to have friends. But now I have started liking lonliness. I am addicted to it.

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Hi

 

I am new to here. I typed in a question to google "how ugly am i" and this popped up. I looked it over and decided to join. I hate my face and that is exactly my only problem. I use to have a very athletic body. I had the abs,lean arms and defined chest. Since March I been depressed and stopped working out and now all i do is binge eat and put on so much weight. The muscles are fading away. I realized that even though i had a nice body I still had no confidence and hated they way I looked. I am a chef and even having a great career has not helped me find someone. I am 31 now and been single since I was 20. It was not even a real girlfriend so I can say that I never been in love or had a proper girlfriend. For the past 5 years I had no sex life and all do to the way I feel about my face. How can I work on my personality? I work so much and I have basically exhausted myself so much. No matter how much money I have,what I do for a living I can not feeling happy with myself.

Edited by lionel1533
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Hi

 

I am new to here. I typed in a question to google "how ugly am i" and this popped up. I looked it over and decided to join. I hate my face and that is exactly my only problem. I use to have a very athletic body. I had the abs,lean arms and defined chest. Since March I been depressed and stopped working out and now all i do is binge eat and put on so much weight. The muscles are fading away. I realized that even though i had a nice body I still had no confidence and hated they way I looked. I am a chef and even having a great career has not helped me find someone. I am 31 now and been single since I was 20. It was not even a real girlfriend so I can say that I never been in love or had a proper girlfriend. For the past 5 years I had no sex life and all do to the way I feel about my face. How can I work on my personality? I work so much and I have basically exhausted myself so much. No matter how much money I have,what I do for a living I can not feeling happy with myself.

Nice to meet you, sir. Sorry to know this. I too have seen some seriously horrible years. I regularly fight with severe depression. So I can definitely help. I may hate human nature but I will definitely not turn a deaf ear to a human in need. And I never had a girlfriend/boyfriend since birth and happy about it.

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Hello @Sri1525

Welcome to the community. We're happy you stumbled upon here, as humans we are all different and all unique, maybe you need to find some alien-like people to hang out with. I get it though do you feel as though you don't fit in?

 

There's nothing wrong with spending time alone, and enjoying that but lonliness is a sad feeling it's wanting to be with people but not being able to or a negative feeling.

 

What do you mean you are addicted to it?

 

We are here for you!

-Remi

 

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hello @Sri1525

Welcome to the community. We're happy you stumbled upon here, as humans we are all different and all unique, maybe you need to find some alien-like people to hang out with. I get it though do you feel as though you don't fit in?

 

There's nothing wrong with spending time alone, and enjoying that but lonliness is a sad feeling it's wanting to be with people but not being able to or a negative feeling.

 

What do you mean you are addicted to it?

 

We are here for you!

-Remi

Thank you so much...

Coming to your question, what I meant was that the negative feeling of lonliness is somehow pleasant. The feeling that I am alone and I have no friends is nice. People have a good opinion about me and they do like me. Too many people make me their friend. But then, after some time, I just leave them all permanently and go into a bubble of lonliness. I guess there are many people waiting for my message after a long time. I love this melancholic feeling of being alone and longing for people. Yet, I don't want to socialize. My brain perceives certain negative feelings (like pain) as pleasant and stimulating. I feel sad that I don't have people to talk to and I enjoy that sadness.

It may be difficult for you to understand.

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Hey @lionel1533

 

Welcome to the community!

 

Self love and self acceptance are such hard skills to add to your toolkit. Your face is your face, its what makes you who are are and it is what makes you unique. I'd recommend reading this https://www.ditchthelabel.org/6-practical-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-body-confidence%EF%BB%BF/ and start giving yourself compliments - find 3 things you like about yourself and write them down, you have to start challenging negative thoughts about yourself and replacing them with positive ones.

 

If it made you feel good before why don't you try heading back to the gym - you could just start with 1 session a week for half an hour to build your way back into things?

 

-Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hi! I’m quite new here too. I actually came across this page looking for some help for a friend of mine and found an incredible place with lots of people who might be feeling the same way. Since I logged in for the first time I can say I’m happier with myself knowing that there’s nothing wrong with me, which is something I’ve found out here.

Hope you enjoy this community.

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Hey there @Jordand

 

I changed your username to just Jordand because we don't allow surname on here to protect you.

 

Welcome to our community, i'm so happy you found us! There is nothing wrong with you and better than that you are special, unique and loved.

 

Hope you enjoy being one of us :)

 

-Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hey @lionel1533

 

Welcome to the community!

 

Self love and self acceptance are such hard skills to add to your toolkit. Your face is your face, its what makes you who are are and it is what makes you unique. I'd recommend reading this https://www.ditchthelabel.org/6-practical-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-body-confidence%EF%BB%BF/ and start giving yourself compliments - find 3 things you like about yourself and write them down, you have to start challenging negative thoughts about yourself and replacing them with positive ones.

 

If it made you feel good before why don't you try heading back to the gym - you could just start with 1 session a week for half an hour to build your way back into things?

 

-Remi

I am not sure what my most negative thoughts are. I know I just don't think I will attract anyone. I don't really think confidence is everything,looks do play it's part. I can not go back to the gym because I work 6 days a week and about 10 to 11 hours a day. My life has always been work and no time for developing relationships of any sort. I get exhausted and just stay home to rest myself. Thinking of heading to a local bar after work seems like to much work and taking away to much of my sleep time. I have no time for myself so how can I devote time to others ?

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Hi

 

I am new to here. I typed in a question to google "how ugly am i" and this popped up. I looked it over and decided to join. I hate my face and that is exactly my only problem. I use to have a very athletic body. I had the abs,lean arms and defined chest. Since March I been depressed and stopped working out and now all i do is binge eat and put on so much weight. The muscles are fading away. I realized that even though i had a nice body I still had no confidence and hated they way I looked. I am a chef and even having a great career has not helped me find someone. I am 31 now and been single since I was 20. It was not even a real girlfriend so I can say that I never been in love or had a proper girlfriend. For the past 5 years I had no sex life and all do to the way I feel about my face. How can I work on my personality? I work so much and I have basically exhausted myself so much. No matter how much money I have,what I do for a living I can not feeling happy with myself.

I feel like I am living with no purpose in life as if I am just waiting for a miracle. I know miracles don't exist. It's either luck or bad luck. I am a hard-working guy and have passion for my craft. It's my only love in life at this moment and I may just never have time to be part of anyone elses life.

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Hi @lionel1533 .

 

Who are you looking for in a partner, dating is a partnership to try and find someone with common interests or hobbies, I know it sounds like you don't have lots of time for hobbies - do you use online dating at all? You shouldn't put all your worth on who fancies you. Attraction happens when two people feel a pull towards each other and that happens when a connection is made.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone likes different things in people.

 

-Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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  • 2 weeks later...

First I want to know who actually finds me attractive enough to even go on a date with. I gave up on those dating sites. I hear there are far to many guys to girls so I have no chance. I am not hard on myself. I am just telling you the world I see. It's horrible and not worth being apart of. I seriously just want my life to be over.

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  • Ditch the Label Staff

@lionel1533 Hi and a warm welcome to community. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. There are so many ways to meet people and not just dating sites as these are often not a good fit for a lot of people.

 

Common interests can be a huge help and already remove any potential nerves in trying to think of what to talk about etc. Self-esteem and being kind to ourselves can be a long road but it is absolutely possible.

 

This article is particularly useful for challenging negative thought patterns: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-10-tips-of-overcoming-low-self-esteem/

 

This article really helps with self-care https://www.ditchthelabel.org/25-ways-practice-self-care/

 

What do you really like about yourself?

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