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Can anyone tell me?


HoosierDaddy    

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I am trying to figure out exactly what sexuality I am. Everywhere I look online it talks about "attraction" to this gender or that gender. I am a man, attracted only to females, however this is where my confusion comes from, I don't have an issue with having sex with any gender. I am only interested in a romantic relationship with a woman. But if I'm not in a commitment then sex is sex. So... am I pansexual? Heterosexual? Or something entirely different?

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Hi HoosierDaddy,

 

Welcome to our community.

 

The truth is, many other people out there are in the same boat as you who are feeling quite confused and stressed about the same thing. A lot of us don't identify as 100% heterosexual. It is perfectly normal to want to know our label as soon as possible, but something like this really does just take time. I know this may sound frustrating, but this is all a process, so try to refrain from putting too much pressure on yourself. Things WILL get better and your identity will become clearer over time :).

 

In the mean time, take a look at this resource which you may find helpful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

Thanks!

 

Monsoon

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digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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@Monsoon Thank you for your reply. I just want to say though that I'm not stressed out at all about my "label", but have just in the last couple of years become curious. Not to satisfy anyone, not even myself really, I'm not losing sleep over it lol. And I'm mainly curious because my personal friends in the LGBTQ community who call themselves "experts" on the subject, have varying opinions. We all laugh about it, and go on. I'm perfectly fine with who I am without a label, but at the same time I am curious about what mine is, I hope that makes sense. That being said, and I hope that I'm not breaking any rules here, but I'm going to provide a little more detail about my preferences.

 

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I identify to the men that I have "hooked up" with as straight and explain to them what I just explained above. And many of them agree that I am a straight man, with complicated sexual desires. Some insist that I am bi. While others have said that I am Pansexual. I've heard a couple of other opinions as well.

 

So... in closing, yes I'm curious to know what the opinions of this online community are, and if there is a clear cut answer to the description that I have provided. Either way, I'm gonna keep being me and won't lose any sleep over having a label. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

Thank you everyone in advance for your input.

 

HoosierDaddy

Edited by Monsoon
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@Monsoon Thank you for your reply. I just want to say though that I'm not stressed out at all about my "label", but have just in the last couple of years become curious. Not to satisfy anyone, not even myself really, I'm not losing sleep over it lol. And I'm mainly curious because my personal friends in the LGBTQ community who call themselves "experts" on the subject, have varying opinions. We all laugh about it, and go on. I'm perfectly fine with who I am without a label, but at the same time I am curious about what mine is, I hope that makes sense. That being said, and I hope that I'm not breaking any rules here, but I'm going to provide a little more detail about my preferences.

 

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**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

**************************************************************************************************************************

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I identify to the men that I have "hooked up" with as straight and explain to them what I just explained above. And many of them agree that I am a straight man, with complicated sexual desires. Some insist that I am bi. While others have said that I am Pansexual. I've heard a couple of other opinions as well.

 

So... in closing, yes I'm curious to know what the opinions of this online community are, and if there is a clear cut answer to the description that I have provided. Either way, I'm gonna keep being me and won't lose any sleep over having a label. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

Thank you everyone in advance for your input.

 

HoosierDaddy

Hi HoosierDaddy,

 

Thanks for your reply. I hope you don’t mind, but I chose to censor the part of your message as I believe this was a little bit on the explicit side. This is because we can have quite young users here at DTL �

 

Thank you for going into such detail as this has helped me to understand your position more. After reading your message, it sounds like you have a pretty good understanding of your sexuality. As you said, you identify as straight and have other sexual desires. I wonder, have you heard the term ‘MSM’? This refers to men who have sex with men regardless of their sexual orientation, so this includes men who have sex with other men and identify as heterosexual. How do you feel about that term?

 

I’m glad to hear that you are going to keep being yourself and not lose any sleep over it. This kind of situation can be quite unsettling for others and you appear to handle it very well.

 

Monsoon

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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@Monsoon, thank you for your response. And no, I don't mind that you censored part of my post. I was somewhat reluctant to put it on here only because I didn't want to violate any TOS or other regulations

 

And thank you for the MSM suggestion. I haven't ever heard of it actually, but will be doing some research on it now. It does sound as if this is likely to be an accurate "label" for my sexuality. I appreciate your input and prompt and courteous reply. I think that I'm really going to enjoy being a part of this online community :)

 

Thanks again,

 

HoosierDaddy

Edited by HoosierDaddy
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