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Stalked


StuckTeddy    

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Hi everyone I’m new here and I need advice, I have been getting stalked and harassed for nearly 4 years now, he is kind of an Ex but I was only with him for 2-3months and only seen him twice in that time. He would have been into drinking a lot and then he would have shouted at me, told me that no other man would have even looked at me so I should be lucky to have him. I decided then that I couldn’t do this (I had a child from another relationship) when he called her bad names. So I told him it was over I explained why and everything. Things got really bad from there 1st he told me had cancer but I didn’t fall for it (I wanted to see prove) there was none. Then messages that he was going to kill himself and he was outside my house at 1-2 in the morning, Telling me he was in my back garden. I rang the police they had been involved three times but nothing really came from it with them. It continued to make false accounts or new numbers to message or text me. No caller Id in the early hours of the morning. I stopped getting the police because I thought he started to like the attention he was getting in which things did calm down but now he’s back at more and more. I don’t know what to do

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Hey @StuckTeddy

 

Welcome to our support community - we are here to help you through this.

 

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through with this guy. I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you, especially as it's been going on for so long. I'm wondering, when the police have been involved, were they able to do anything useful at all or give you any helpful advice about potential ways forward? Also, with the guy, has he given any particular reason as to why he is still harassing you? I hope to hear back from you soon.

 

Take care,

 

Monsoon

 

 

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Hi yes he was admitted to hospital on two a counts because he was claiming that he would kill himself (doctors where not worried about this after the second time) the third time they were out with him he got warned and is not allowed to be on Facebook (makes fake profiles now) he also claims that he has PTSD because he was accused of raping a young lady years before I knew him (She left the country before it went to trail) so nothing was done there. He did text me this at the start of this year saying that he was nothing but a rapist and I still have the message. He says in all the messages I received though Facebook that he misses me and he loves and that he isn’t mad at me for leaving him and he forgives me (making it out it’s my fault) I know he’s trying to manipulate me into texting him back but I haven’t and I won’t. He’s ringing me of no caller Id so I can’t block the number but on Sunday I answered the phone to a No caller ID and it was him and he said his name. I am changing my number! I feel like if I go back to the police nothing will be done but something does need to be done

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Hey @StuckTeddy

 

Thanks for getting back to me. Can I ask, do you feel like you are in danger? If so, the police need to be involved to make sure that you're safe. From what you've said, it sounds like he is really trying hard to get your attention, and if he gets this, he may carry on more and more. I do think it's a good idea to change your number too. Have you tried blocking him on social media by the way? If you haven't, this might also work in your favour.

 

Speak soon,

-Monsoon

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yes I have blocked many accounts by him and I have always set my profile as private but somehow is still able to find me. I don’t believe I’m in danger as he doesn’t know where I actually live, he may know the town but not where I am. Plus he can’t drive so he would need to explain to someone where he needs to go if that makes sense. I haven’t replied to anything he has sent me. He is really unstable I believe and I know his parents are getting hurt by it as well because he lives with them

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Hey @StuckTeddy

 

I'm glad to hear that you don't believe you're in danger as that was my main concern, so that's positive. So, the only way he has to contact you is through social media and your phone right? When you get your number changed, hopefully he won't contact you as much, so that's positive. Do you think his parents know how he is being with you?

Edited by Monsoon

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Yes his mother was beside herself when the police was going to the house as her main income is that they use the front of the house as a B&B so I do feel bad for her. Yes I have a new number so there is only Facebook. I don’t understand how he can be so fixed me after nearly 4 years

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Hey there @StuckTeddy

 

I'm glad to hear that you've got a new number now. Hopefully the level of contact reduces now as he can only message you through Facebook. Also, when he messages you on Facebook, what are the messages like? If they are harassing and abusive, we can report the account to Facebook for you and see if they can remove it. Let us know.

-Monsoon

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sorry it wouldn’t let me sign in there for a while and have been busy as well. Not really abusive or anything. The messages are mainly the same about missing me and that it’s my fault and I have ruined his life, he won’t have a kid or a wife because of me. Things like this that I’m the reason he won’t have a life. It’s his own fault for what happened as he was trying to put me down anytime he got. Calling my daughter bad names, shouting at me, trying to cut me off from people in my life. It is harassment I know if I get another message I will post it on here. Thank you so much for your help

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Hi @StuckTeddy

 

Thanks for getting back in touch with us. I am sorry to hear about the content of the messages that he is sending to you. How are you doing with all of this at the moment? You know where we are if you need more support.

- Monsoon

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, I have been doing better since my number has been changed I feel like there’s less of a hold over me or some kind of release. He hasn’t contacted my Facebook which is helping as well but then he could just be waiting. I do feel like I can actually put a profile picture on my Facebook instead of using a silly cartoon or something, it’s not of my face or anything just an actual personal one. I couldn’t and haven’t done that in years. I have also been sleeping abit better too, thank you again

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Hey @StuckTeddy

 

I'm glad to hear that you feel like there's less of a hold over you since you've changed your number and that you feel like you can actually put a profile picture on your Facebook. I hope that things continue to get better for you and remember that we are always here for you if you need support.

 

-Monsoon

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  • 9 months later...

being followed is so horrific, are you safe now? sending you hugs sounds like you need them. Have you got support from other services since this happened and have you reported it? please update me. 

On 12/15/2020 at 9:11 PM, StuckTeddy said:

Thank you very much it has been helping getting it off my chest, your a really great person and I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year xx

 

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