jelly Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Hey everyone, I'm a college student and I found this site from Tumblr some time ago where yall were giving some pretty solid mental health/life advice from a Q&A and it really helped me out. Usually my anxiety holds me back from engaging with other people (even though online supposed to make it easier) but I thought I should give this a shot! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 Hey @knickerbocker716 Welcome to our community . I'm one of the digital mentors at Ditch the Label and I'm here to give advice and support to our members. Thanks for coming to us and sharing how your anxiety holds you back. I'm wondering, what is it that you get anxious about when engaging with other people? What are you thinking? Also, if you like, we can share some tips with you on how to help your anxiety. Let me know. Speak soon! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelly Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 Hi @Monsoon thanks for replying. To answer your question, I'm not really sure what it is, but I freeze up and my heartrate goes really fast when I even think about idk going to some club event, joining a zoom call, or any instance where it involves me showing myself and interacting with people. This happened last night actually, I was struggling with my homework and on discord there's a study group session going on and I open discord like twice, three times with my cursor above the Join button and I'm super nervous and I'm thinking a lot but then I'm like ehhhh and I just end up not going and struggle alone. I think my brain runs through all the things that can go wrong, like if I tell a joke and no one laughs and I get all embarrassed, or if people even care about me that I'm there, or worst of all if I am being a bother to people when I'm there. Eventually what happens is I just choose not to go because me spending my friday night alone doing nothing outweighs the cost/benefit of me risking it all to "socialize." MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) Hey @knickerbocker716 Thanks for explaining how your anxiety holds you back. You've really helped me to make sense of what goes on in your mind when you're about so socialise. It sounds like, as you said, your brain runs through all the things that can go wrong and that's what puts you off, like you're almost thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen. I'm wondering, when you're able to overcome your anxiety and socialise, how is it for you? I'm wondering, have you found anything that helps you when you're feeling anxious? If so, would you like to share it with me? Also, it might be a good idea for you to take a look at the support guides below and let me know what you think: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/calm-the-f-down-breathing-your-way-through-anxiety/ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-i-...-by-max-hovey/ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/101-ul...reduce-stress/ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/7-tips-for-overcoming-social-anxiety/ Speak soon Edited January 21, 2021 by Monsoon MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelly Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 Thanks for those links @Monsoon , they are helpful. What I've been doing to try to reduce anxiety is this one trick I was taught in imagining a STOP sign in my head to distract me and then I'm supposed to feel better, it works, sometimes. Another thing I do is writing/typing down all the things that are overwhelming me, numbering them, then putting solutions next to each problem. I don't do that so often anymore but I think it helps me. When I actually do put myself out there, I am usually left only remembering the negative parts, like maybe there were good things that happened but since I'm so focused on what words I say or what faces I make, I probably don't pay attention to the positives. So the event or call ends and only moments that made me feel anxious are all in my head, or I reflect on things I should have done instead. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 Hey @knickerbocker716 I'm glad to hear that you found the links helpful - did you manage to try anything out from them yet? Also, it's great to hear about what works for you - it's so important to figure out our own strategies too, so this is good! Also, I completely get what you're saying about focusing on the negatives afterwards. We all have a habit of doing this, and it's completely normal. However, I'm wondering, when you engage with people from now on, why don't you try to write down one or two things that went well? What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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