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Coming out


Brightheartlover22    

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Hello new friends. I am a female and have recently found my sexual orientation and i don't know how to tell my parents. I know that they will support me because my grand father is gay. On the other hand i feel scared to tell them because i have dug a hole of angsitiey and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper with every question that i ask my self. Dose any body know a good way to come out to loved ones?

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Hey @Brightheartlover22

 

Welcome to our community and thanks for coming to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here and it's my job to give advice and support to our members :).

 

I'm glad to hear that your parents will support you when you come out. Can I ask, do you feel ready to come out? Remember that you don't have to if you're not ready yet - you can take your time with this. With the anxiety, it's completely normal to feel this way about coming out. I'm wondering, is there anything you do at the moment to help with feeling worried? If so, I would love to hear. We can also suggest some things that might help too if you like?

 

Now, with actually coming out, I always tell people to try and not plan what you'll say too much, but to just try and speak from the heart. However, you could pretend that I'm your parent and reply with what you might say to them... let me know what you think.

 

Speak soon.

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  • 3 months later...

Hello, my name is skye and my parents are homophobic.I want to tell them that im bisexual but i fear they will start saying hate speech towards me.How do i tell them and get them to acept me for who i am.

I'd really appreciate it

Thanksx

skye

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Hey@SBrooksie123

 

Welcome to our community and thanks for coming to us :)

 

Can I check, do you feel ready to come out? If you don't, then it really is okay to wait - you can take your time. Also, could coming out put you in any kind of danger, like being abused or kicked out? If it could, then it might be best to wait until you can move out or at least have somewhere else to stay that's safe. What do you think? Let me know so I can then give you more advice.

 

Speak soon.

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Hey@SBrooksie123

 

I'm glad to hear that they won't hurt you. Although it may be difficult coming out to them at first, just remember that with homophobic parents, a lot of them eventually come round to the news and they do this out of pure love for their child, so just keep this in mind.

 

However, it can be a long, emotional process that requires a lot of patience. As you said, they may say things you won't like, but as time goes on, things often calm down. There's an article about this here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/. What do you think?

 

Also, I'm wondering, could it be helpful if you pretend that I'm your parent/parents and you're coming out to me? What would you say? It might help to practise it a little bit. If it makes it easier, you could even write them a letter that they read alone and then you can talk about it after.

 

If they do say things you don't like/if it gets tense and heated, is there somewhere you could stay for a few days until things calm down?

 

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