Am I Asexual?

[Animelover7]

I'm 17 (almost 18) I've had a boyfriend before but I don't know if I was ever sexually attracted to him. We were friends for a while and I liked him for most of that time because he had the same interests as me. He asked me who I liked and I made a joke and said it was someone else but then I said him and he liked me back so we started dating. I never wanted to do anything to sexual to him, I thought and still think that private parts are kinda gross (more men's cause I'm a female but I don't want to touch another girl's either.) I did do some stuff when he asked at first but then I stopped because I really didn't want to touch it. I did enjoy it when he did something sexual to me, but he was always the one start it, and I never really looked forward to it. I'd rather watch anime. I'm not sure about sex because we never actually went that far (He never asked about it.) When he broke up with me I wasn't too upset about it, I was just a little disappointed. I was more worried that we wouldn't be friends anymore but we still are nothing has really changed. Including him wanting to do sexual stuff (which we also did before we were dating, the only thing that changed when we started dating was that we kissed.) He asked me last time he visited about sex, I refused because he didn't have a condom and I ended up agreeing to do it if he gets one. In the moment I wanted to but now I kinda regret it. I might end up doing it still though because they'll be another 'moment' and so I can figure out if I like it or not.

 

I have had sex before but it was once a while ago and I really regret it because of who it was with, so I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I mastubate and when I do I fantasize about anime characters (I like thinking about it but I wouldn't touch those characters even if I could) and very rarely about him. I only do it in the bath because I'll feel gross after if it not in there. I get turned on by reading erotic stories or fan fiction but I don't usually look for them. I just come across them when looking for something else.

 

There's another guy I'm attracted (romantically because he had the same interests too) but again I wouldn't want to touch him sexually. I know he likes me back because he said I'm cute, asked me if I've ever dated anyone, then asked me if I've ever kissed anyone and finally asked me If I like him. I didn't say anything because I was nervous and I won't be seeing him again for a while because its summer and we only seen each other at work (a coop placement for school) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm going back to school next year and having the same coop again so I might see him again but I'm not sure. I do like him but I honestly don't think it will go anywhere and I'm not too upset by that.

 

So am I Asexual then? Also I know I'm romantically attracted to Guys but I don't know about girls because I haven't meet one with the same interests.

 

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Edited June 15, 2019 by Animelover7

[Lauren or Tom]

hey there,

 

i understand what ur going thro, i would consider myself asexual because i dont have that pull towards either gender. doing it makes me cringe, even tho ive never had sex before but for me in particular, i dont wont to confirm anything until i talked to someone who is experienced with this kind of stuff (i havent yet as i havent found the courage to come out to my parents).

Another thing I find very useful is to talk to someone who's asexual as well but u kno personally and well. The worst thing you want to do is talk to someone but they backstab u and they tell people even tho ur still trying to figure shit out. trust ur gut.

i find it easier to talk to people via social media as u can double check what u are about to say were u cant face to face and since i kno them personally, they would say we can talk about this at school.

and dont hind ur emotions. u are going thro a big change in ur life and if ur like me who struggles to show ur emotions, do it where no one can hear u. go for a walk, go to somewhere no goes and have a cry. it feels really good once u've gotten it all out and ur thinking can start fresh again.

 

I hope this helps,

Tom

 

[Lauren or Tom]

and yes, there could be a small possibility that u could be asexual but dont make anything 100% until u talk to someone about it

[Animelover7]

I don't have anyone too talk to about it though, I did mention it to my sister but she didn't say much and that's the only person I can think of telling, or maybe I could tell my ex. Thanks for replying though and being nice, I wanted to delete this cause I didn't know what people would say, but its okay I guess.

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[Lauren or Tom]

if u really trust ur ex, then sure but if ur worried about how he'll react, maybe suggest something to do with the lgbt community and see what he says.

another thing is that it is different for everyone. i have a friend who is disgusted by sex, he told me that he threw up watching porn.

like i said before, i dont feel it that way even tho ive never had sex or even dated anyone. it just doesnt really cross my mind.

 

Tom