Dan Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I've never really had any intimacy in my life besides kissing one girl at 16. When I was 11 years old till about 16 several girls at my school bullied me severely and inappropriately touched me. Now I get panic attacks around women, its affected my ability to find work, make relationships and has severely affected my body image and self esteem. I've never really felt love, whenever I've asked anyone out its always ended in rejection or online relationships that fail and sex has pretty much been off the table. Now I feel at 29 I feel that chance has passed, my friends used to say I'm good looking and funny but I just dont believe them. A decade of trying and I'm just tired. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Hello @Dan Sorry to hear you experienced bullying of this nature. It sounds like you would really benefit from talking to a counsellor and working through some of the trauma that you might have around women and the impact it is having on you now. If you are feeling panicked and nervous when around women it could be worth exploring the root cause of this fear. Do you have any female friends or relatives that you have a good bond with? I can assure you that your time has not passed at 29, you still have the majority of your life ahead of you to love and to be loved. I hear that you are tired, but loving yourself is the first step to finding love elsewhere. Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 3, 2019 Author Share Posted December 3, 2019 Do you have any female friends or relatives that you have a good bond with? None. I have very severe flashbacks, not like images but emotion. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 What do you emotional flashbacks look or feel like for you? MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 4, 2019 Author Share Posted December 4, 2019 What do you emotional flashbacks look or feel like for you? In a word, terror. Its the overwhelming idea its going to happen again. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 That must be a scary time for you. Do you have any coping strategies to use when this happens? MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 7, 2019 Author Share Posted December 7, 2019 That must be a scary time for you. Do you have any coping strategies to use when this happens? other than avoid women no MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted January 7, 2020 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted January 7, 2020 What do you emotional flashbacks look or feel like for you? In a word, terror. Its the overwhelming idea its going to happen again. I'd definitely second seeking counselling as they can be incredibly helpful in helping you develop really effective coping strategies for when this happens. Sometimes we have to work to really unlearn ingrained responses but it can be really effective. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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