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Breakup


AnnaBanana    

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My boyfriend broke up with me, he won’t tell me why. I have tried asking him, he doesn’t answer. I know I must have done something wrong. Scared that he will tell all my secrets to his friends. I miss him. ;c

 

but hey... I have always liked this other girl.. the only reason I didn’t go for her was because I had a boyfriend.. BUT GUESS WHOS SINGLE!? I am! Imma try flirt with her.

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Hey AnnaBanana. Thanks for coming to us for support. We are here for you :)

 

I’m sorry to hear that your boyfriend broke up with you. When a relationship comes to an end, the least someone can do is explain why. You're entitled to that reason. It's a shame that he won't give you an answer as I can imagine that this will play on your mind. However, it's important to try and not blame yourself. It could actually be for another reason such as he felt like the relationship wasn't right for him. I know that it's easy to blame yourself in this kind of situation, but it won't serve you in any way. Do you think you'll be able to move past it without finding out why? I know he isn't answering you at the moment, but it might be a good idea to just ask him to not share your secrets either. This must be worrying for you and even if he doesn't respond, you can be reassured that you've asked him and hopefully he respects your wish.

 

Also, it's great to hear that you like the other girl and that you're going to flirt with her! When are you going to strike up a conversation with her? Very exciting!

 

-Monsoon

 

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  • 1 month later...

Is it a good thing for me to expect my ex boyfriend to really regret hurting me and letting me go. I gave my all to that relationship and really wanted it to last in the long term. But at some point he just stopped trying and gave up, he told me that he did not love me anymore and could not commit. The point is this: when we lived on the same campus, everything worked fine, the relationship was nice, ofcourse there were downs but they were manageable. But after the lockdwon started and we were made to return to our homes in two different cities, things started getting worse. I did not want to take any final decision in the long distance relationship but at some point it just got very hurtful and though he said he was trying his best to be careful of his words, he still went ahead and said things like "do you expect me to artificially grow/ coax love out for you", except, a month ago, he only used to say that he loved me. That transition was extremely hurtful for me. I think he could only put in efforts when it was easy for him to do so, but when it got difficult he just stopped trying. I know you are a stranger and know not much about this, but have i done wrong? Should I have waited more, till he came around and changed and became more careful and reciprocated equally? I really did try beyond my best but since he was so special should have I tried more?

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Hey @ruchix

 

Thanks for posting this here, and i'm sorry to hear you're hurting right now.

 

Breakups suck - you haven' done anything wrong, it sounds like lockdown may have just sped up what was already inevitable. You can really wind yourself up post break-up analysing what went wrong, and what you could have done. But as your boyfriend has said - he feels that he has fallen out of love with you, and thats the part to focus on. You are not unlovable, but this time, this relationship hasn't worked out You may never know what is going on inside his head right now, and you need to make peace with that, as the only thing we have control over are our own feelings and our own actions. There's nothing you did wrong, just it's not often that anything lasts forever, and it's far better to be apart than in an unbalanced relationship.

 

What you should do right now is focus on yourself - reconnect with friends, journal your feelings, read that book thats you've always wanted to, take u a new hobby and fall madly in love with yourself. Relationships will always come and go, but truly it's the relationship you have with yourself that matters most as its the longest one you will ever have.

 

I know its really tough right now, but the best thing I always recommend after a breakup is to not talk to them for a while. Even blocking them on social media is advisable - just give yourself some time ot heal and it will get easier.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to...-well-8-steps/

https://us.ditchthelabel.org/breakup-donts/

 

Have a read over these articles too!

 

Hang in there, we're here for you.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey @AnnaBanana and @ruchix. I just thought I'd check if to see how everything is going with your situations? We hope things are better now :)​​​​​​​

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