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Me and my best friend


Marv    

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I dated my best friend last year for around 5 months. But I completely lost the spark and was off to university, so I came to the decision that I had to bring the relationship to an end. He, as far as I know, does still like me a lot - we've talked about it in the past. I still don't totally understand my sexuality. I suppose bisexual would be true? but I'd definitely prefer to be with a girl (I'm female). I see myself marrying a woman. He's coming to my university in September, and I had a sudden thought earlier. I've come to the conclusion that I really don't like the idea of him dating someone that isn't me. But also, from what he said to me last time, I can safely assume he thinks the same towards me. I'm not saying I have a crush on him again, in truth I don't know if I see him as a brother or a boyfriend. I really don't know. I have liked guys, just very very few. But I don't like guy stuff, if you get me, I'm into breasts and all that. But I really don't like that one day he might end up with someone. Maybe it's the need to protect my best friend that's kicking in? He really does feel like a brother, the brother I never had, and we're still very much best friends.

 

Any help?

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Hey Marv,

 

I can see why you're confused about this. When you date a close friend, it's hard to then go back to how it was before the relationship, and thoughts and feelings end up being muddled up. I think that it can be hard to imagine any ex going out with someone else when things didn't end badly, so maybe it's that coming in to play? If I were you, I would talk to him openly about it as it might make things clearer for you. Do you think that would help? I also think that as time goes on, you'll know more about your sexuality and that will probably help you to make sense of the situation with your mate.

 

 

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@Monsoon Yeah, I reckon you're right. I just don't think I can talk to him about it. We've had conversations about it in the past and settled stuff and all is fine. I guess I'm just scared to talk to him about it because I don't want to ruin his vibe? I mean, he probably feels the same for me, he probably doesn't want to see me with someone else... yay conflicting thoughts

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Hey Marv,

 

I think trust your intuition on this one, you know him and yourself, if you don't think it will help to say anything just yet then it could be worth waiting and see if anything comes out, or if he brings it up?

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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@Remi Yeah that's a good idea. I think it'll come in conversation one day, but until then I'm gonna wait. Thanks guys :)

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Hi @Monsoon

 

Sorry, I haven't been on in a while so I didn't get your message. It's going alright. I haven't talked to him about it, but I did find out through another friend that he's over me/the relationship we had, so we're good on that ground. I think it's one of those things that if it comes up in conversation, I'll say what I'm thinking? So far it hasn't. We shall see. I did also meet someone last night, which I actually just made a post about, but I dunno, we'll see

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