Back to Ditch The Label

Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

I’m at a confusing point in my life. Struggling with sexuality.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Author
Posts
  •  
    I’m a 20 year old man, and all my life, I’ve been attracted to women. I’ve valued my male friends very closely and wouldn’t mind playfully flirting with them. I currently have a fiancé that is a woman that I love very much. But I’ve come across my first male crush. He playfully rubs around private areas and I feel nervous, yet at peace around him. My fiancé knows and supports me finding myself, but I dunno if I’m actually bisexual or not. I’ve had dreams about him, and I’ve started thinking about other men in the same way. I always thought I was just so straight, and that’s why I’m comfortable doing “gay things” like grabbing friends’ butts. I’m just confused. I don’t feel like I’m gay enough to be bisexual, but I can’t deny that I would date a man. Any advice would be great.
  •  
    Hey ArcHoo

    Thanks for reaching out to us for support

    I'm glad that your fiance supports you in finding yourself. I can imagine that it must be quite stressful for you being confused about your sexuality. I always say the same thing to people in your kind of situation: as time goes on, you will figure out who you are, so try to enjoy the ride and be patient with it. However, I know this is easier said than done when you find the confusion unsettling. I wonder if there are things you could do to explore this part of your sexuality whilst staying in your relationship? It might be worth speaking to your fiance about what she is comfortable with you doing in order to explore this side. I think that once you've fleshed out what you can and can't do, then you can go from there. Let me know what you think.

    -Monsoon

    Comment

    • Comment

      •  
        Hello Monsoon, thanks for your reply. My fiancé is supportive of me exploring this side of myself. She is okay with everything but having actual intercourse with anyone. This I understand and completely agree with. I just don’t know if my crush is into men, as he has a girlfriend. I don’t want to make our relationship weird. I don’t even fully know if I’m just confused. I don’t want to ruin my social relationships over what could be nothing. I have no problem if I find that I’m bisexual, it’s just being unsure that’s bothering me.

        Comment

        • Comment

          •  
            Hey ArcHoo,

            I'm glad that your fiancé is supportive and okay with everything apart from intercourse, but I'm wondering, what does this mean? It would be helpful for you to get down to the specifics about what you can and can't do. I think that you have to be careful with the guy that you know because as you said, you don't want to ruin the social relationship. I wonder if you could maybe explore how you're feeling through porn or LGBTQIA+ films? Above all, it sounds like you really need to understand this part of yourself, and it's important to figure out what's best for you right now e.g. do you need complete freedom to explore this other side, or do you think that you can still do it within the limits of your current relationship and fully understand yourself through that?

            -Monsoon

            Comment

            • Comment

              Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

              Working...
              X