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Questioning my sexuality


SSpooooky    

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I’ve always been open to dating different people from different walks of life(even though I’ve only had one significant other which tbh was grueling) I’ve even been asked by my family members if I was a attracted to girls for the past like 10 years I believe. I have only recently come out as a bisexual to my friend after realizing that I do have feelings for other women and started seeing a future of me with another women. However, I have now been questioning if I am a lesbian, I want to believe it’s true, but I’m afraid that if I do come out, that I lied to myself for liking women(even though I currently have crush on one at this time) I guess I’m just lost. I have never been able to trust myself or intuition. Any advice with how to cope with the constant anxiety of me thinking I’m making it up or that it’s all in my head?

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Hey @SSpooooky

 

Welcome to our support community - I'm one of the digital support mentors here and I give advice to our members :)

 

Thanks for reaching out to us. I completely get why you're afraid of coming out. However, I'm curious to know, do you not trust your intuition and the thoughts you're having about your sexuality? If so, why do you think that is? I think that when it comes to the constant anxiety, it can be good to remember that as time goes on, you will understand yourself more. This will get better for you, and I know that it might be hard to see that right now, but you just have to trust the process and let nature take its course. Sexuality sadly requires our patience! What do you think?

Edited by Monsoon

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Hmm, I wouldn’t say that I have really ever questioned my sexuality(or doubted it until very recently) I have been attracted to women in the past, and thought that every other person likes the same sex. I do have an issue with anxiety and depression and a lot of me not trusting my intuition is from making scenarios that are completely unrealistic(such as driving through a parking garage and believing it would collapse on me has been a consistent fear I’ve had for awhile that doesn’t change). I’ve always been surrounded by friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community so it’s quite possible that I just never thought of vocalizing it or even coming out to any family members. I know previously when I was having health issues, I was told constantly that it wasn’t real, I was making it up, or simply wanting attention(which was not true lol) maybe that could be a underlying issue for trusting myself and intuition? I do know for certain that I like girls and am wanting a girlfriend. Maybe it’s the labels that is making me confused? I’m not entirely sure, but this seems to have opened me up, being more comfortable with who I am after coming out to my friend and joining this community

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Hmm, I wouldn’t say that I have really ever questioned my sexuality(or doubted it until very recently) I have been attracted to women in the past, and thought that every other person likes the same sex. I do have an issue with anxiety and depression and a lot of me not trusting my intuition is from making scenarios that are completely unrealistic(such as driving through a parking garage and believing it would collapse on me has been a consistent fear I’ve had for awhile that doesn’t change). I’ve always been surrounded by friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community so it’s quite possible that I just never thought of vocalizing it or even coming out to any family members. I know previously when I was having health issues, I was told constantly that it wasn’t real, I was making it up, or simply wanting attention(which was not true lol) maybe that could be a underlying issue for trusting myself and intuition? I do know for certain that I like girls and am wanting a girlfriend. Maybe it’s the labels that is making me confused? I’m not entirely sure, but this seems to have opened me up, being more comfortable with who I am after coming out to my friend and joining this community

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Hey @SSpooooky

 

I think you have an important point in trying to explain why you experience troubles with trusting your own intuitions. If we know that something is going on for us and people dismiss those experiences, it really can make us second guess ourselves, so I think it's easy to see why you don't trust yourself with this. However, the fact that you are here and talking about this shows me that you are beginning to trust the way you feel which is nice to see :). With the labels, they can be so confusing. Some people find them useful, and other people can have issues with them. What do you think about labels for yourself and do you actually want one right now? It's more than okay if you don't. Labels are only as important as you think they are.

 

Also, how is everything going with your mental health atm? I saw that you mentioned anxiety and depression; just so you know, we have training and experience in supporting people with their emotional health and we are here for you.

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