Back to Ditch The Label

Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

I'm terrified - dysphoria?

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 7 total)

  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Author
Posts
  •  
    I'm terrified. I really am. I don't know how to take this. I don't what to do about it. I'm not sure if I'm experiencing dysphoria or not.

    About 4/5 years ago, my friend came out as transgender and for a little while after that, I started questioning myself, but after sometime it completely went away. Last year, my university friend came out as trans too. And guess what? I started questioning myself again.

    I'm female and have regarded myself so forever. I've never wanted to be male. I believe I am bisexual, maybe pansexual, maybe lesbian (I realise they're quite different but my sexuality is something I'm still trying to work out).

    I've suddenly started feeling uncomfortable about my breasts, which is weird because some years ago, I wanted bigger breasts. I've always been jealous of my sister's curves and butt, and now here I am actually questioning the existence of my breasts. I've liked being called a 'woman', in truth it makes me feel powerful and strong. I like the word.

    I'm also worried because I have OCD and if anyone here has OCD, you'll know that it can convince of practically anything. So I really don't know if it's real. It gets weirder too. I also have Tourette's, and for a lot of us we feel an 'urge' feeling before we tic, and I feel this sensation in my breasts, so I really don't know what's going on.

    I'm really confused and really terrified. I also seem to be very aware that I have a vagina too. But I wouldn't ever want to have a penis (I hope I'm okay using these words haha).

    I'm so jumbled up and unsure and confused and terrified. I've told my trans friend and he, of course, is here to support me, but I don't know what to do about it.
  •  
    Hi Marv,


    Thanks for opening up to us about this. It sounds like you’ve been through a hard time with it lately, but it’s good that you’re speaking out it. I can completely get why you feel confused and terrified, but just know that we are here for you throughout this.

    I’m wondering, did your friend have an opinion on what you’re feeling at the moment? Also, with dysphoria, it’s typically defined as feeling like there’s a mismatch between your biological sex and gender identity. What do you think about that?

    Comment

    • Comment

      •  
        Thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot.

        My friend talked to me about it but it was mostly a lot of reassurance, we only spoke about it yesterday so we haven't talked about it that much really.

        Well, when my second friend came out, she said she wants they/them pronouns and they've changed their name, and the they/them pronouns seemed quite appealing to me. I don't really know if and, if there is how much of a difference I see between my biological sex and gender. Maybe I'm just ini a state of desperate denial at the moment, but something doesn't feel right. It's just weird because it's come on very suddenly. Like, when my first friend came out, he said he'd felt dysphoria for years and years and had always seen himself as a male and not a female, and my other friend had felt it for a while too, whereas mines come on it suddenly short bursts so i'm totally confused.

        Comment

        • Comment

          •  
            Thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot.

            My friend talked to me about it but it was mostly a lot of reassurance, we only spoke about it yesterday so we haven't talked about it that much really.

            Well, when my second friend came out, she said she wants they/them pronouns and they've changed their name, and the they/them pronouns seemed quite appealing to me. I don't really know if and, if there is how much of a difference I see between my biological sex and gender. Maybe I'm just ini a state of desperate denial at the moment, but something doesn't feel right. It's just weird because it's come on very suddenly. Like, when my first friend came out, he said he'd felt dysphoria for years and years and had always seen himself as a male and not a female, and my other friend had felt it for a while too, whereas mines come on it suddenly short bursts so i'm totally confused. i'm not sure if this totally answers your question but....

            Comment

            • Comment

              •  
                Hey Marv

                Thanks for your reply. I'm glad you have friends around you who can relate to what you might be going through; that's going to help you a lot. With gender dysphoria, some people always feel that way, and then it can come quite late to others and then seem to go away. Everyone is different in their experiences.

                You make a good point about how you might be in denial at the moment. Can I ask, what made you say that? Do you think you might be denying it right now?

                Also, I wonder, could it be a good idea to use the they/them pronouns for a while and see how it goes? By the way, are you in the UK? If so, I can link you to some charities that might be able to help more.

                Comment

                • Comment

                  Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 7 total)

                  Working...
                  X